My First Oracle Reading

I've been intrigued by card reading for a while, but never really thought about doing it myself until a friend shared a photo of her African Goddess Affirmation Cards* by Abiola Abrams. They were really neat-looking and I decided to get a deck. The back of the package suggests using them for oracle readings. I used them for the first time this morning and I’m liking them so far.

What I Did

1. Got my mind right: I lit a candle and asked my ancestors/guides (and only them) to be with me.
2. Prepared the cards: Shuffled them.
3. Asked the question: I didn’t have anything too specific to ask about, so I just asked “what do I need to know?”
4. Spread: I did a 3-card “Desire, Compromise, Outcome” spread from left to right.

  What I Got

Card 1: Wuriupranilli
Desire: To be proud of who I am.
I could always use more confidence.Interesting that this goddess is associated with the color red because it's a color I often avoid because I think it's "too bold" and will attract attention.

Card 2: Atete
Compromise: Stepping out of my comfort zone.
Changing up food hasn’t been that hard for me, and I’ve added more activities to my daily routine like walking and going to the gym. Recently I started using the sauna after my workouts (and it is pure bliss). This is *major* because I sometimes worry “do I look okay” whenever I’m in public, especially at the gym. It’s hard to get out of my head.

Card 3: Ochumare
Outcome: I will accept my body.
I believe that I will gain self-confidence if I treat my body well.I like this description: "She rests in beauty of self awareness. She is blissful because she is in tune with the Universe."








Action!
 
After reading the cards and determining what they may mean, I said a quick "thank you" for the guidance.
 
It’s interesting that these cards are body-related (at least, that’s how I’m reading them). Last week I said to a dear friend, “Our bodies are temples!” I was telling her about my Lenten adventures and how I wanted to adopt a plant-based diet. Now that Lent is over I’m still vegan-ish!

I’m going to mediate over these cards and their questions for the next week or so.

I’ve been wanting to bike for the last few years, but my self-doubt has stopped me. Time to be BOLD! I’ve decided to get a bike this weekend and see what happens.


Really fun cards. Can’t wait to get moving.


*Only sharing pics of my first spread because it’s so exciting. If you want to see more cards, I’d recommend getting a set!

This One Is About My Birthday & Whitney Houston

In 2012 I celebrated my 29^th birthday, Whitney Houston died, and I got drunk for the last time.*

http://www.whitneyhouston.com

History:  A big portion of my girlhood was spent playing Whitney Houston, Whitney, I’m Your Baby Tonight, and other cassettes on my karaoke machine. Later on I would borrow my big sister’s CDs and go with my family to see The Body Guard, Waiting to Exhale and The Preacher's Wife.    

February 11, 2012: I get ready (pregame) before my birthday party. It's snowing, but I'm not going to let cold weather stop me.  The month also marks the 1^st anniversary of my big sister’s death and I've added her passing to my list-of-reasons-to-get-faded for the night. 

Right as I put on my coat to head out, a friend calls: “OH MY GOD, GIRL, WHITNEY HOUSTON IS DEAD AT 48!” She’s reading straight from the ticker of whatever news broadcast is on.  “Turn your tv on!” I grab the remote and turn the on the tv to get the truth for myself. As soon as the tragedy is confirmed, I activate my defense mechanism of choice: denial. I am terrified, sad, but determined to party. “Not letting her ruin my birthday”, I think to myself. I turn the tv off and head out into the dark, snowy night toward who knows what. 

Sometime in 1987:“I Wanna Dance With Somebody” is the first song I remember singing/dancing to with Mama. Her favorite part: “Don’t you wanna dance, say you wanna dance, don’t you wanna dance…” My favorite part: The way she sings “heat” during the second chorus somewhere around the 2:55 mark.

We sing this today still, but only bits and pieces. 

February 2012: I make it to the party and I make it home, but I can’t tell you much about what happened in between. A week later, after a series of panic attacks and other uncomfortable events, I give up drinking altogether. It starts with a call from Mama. She says “I don’t want to lose my last living child this way. How do you think Whitney’s mama feels?” Hold up, when had I become the “Whitney of the family?”** And, wow, what have I put my mother through? So I stop. I give up other substances later that year. 

None of this is easy.  

Growing Up: On weekends I spend time in the living room or locked away in the bathroom singing to myself. Occasionally my stuffed animals or pet fish serve as an audience. “Queen of the Night” makes me feel grown and “Greatest Love of All” gives me chills. Whitney and Brandy star in "Cinderella", my favorite fairy tale. I want her to be my fairy godmother, to hear my secrets and grant my wishes.

At 15 years old, when Whitney hooks up with my other music love, Mariah Carey, I am delivered from teen angst whenever I listen to "When You Believe".

 

Whitney will forever make me remember being a little girl who wised she had a big voice.   

2013: Days after letting go of other substances, a dear friend takes me to a local "Sparkle" movie premier event. The film makes me think of home, Mama and sisterhood. I am reminded of the peace and freedom I've gained through grace.

Nearly one and a half years after the come-to-Jesus moment with Mama and an intense amount of spiritual work, I am at a karaoke event singing “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” sober. I manage to go all night without singing until a friend selects the track. She knows just what to play to get me to the front of the room. I’m really nervous but I HAVE to do this, right? Like, y’all, this is the song. My girls stand next to me, sing with me, show me love. It's a great night. 

Today: Since her death three years ago, I like to spend some time leading up to my birthday listening to music by my “fairy godmother”.*** No longer a woman dreading her birthday or haunted by her demons, I am back to the little girl with a hair brush or karaoke mic or Sony Discman crooning and rocking with confidence. 

Now, listening to Whitney and reflecting on my 32 years, I feel nothing but gratitude and love.
 

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* So, I’ve obviously left out a lot. Not trying to have all my business out there, but I’m happy to share more offline. ** I was super judgmental about Whitney Houston and the events leading up to her death, but I know now that none of it is my business. All that really matters is that her life, talent and passing have impacted me for the better. *** I could go on and on and on about my favorite Whitney moments (songs, interviews, movies), but I'll save that for another time. Hit me up if you feel chatting/singing!